I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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