She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
