ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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