actually, I'm a sock model
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
