Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
