my phone needs a breathalizer
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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