Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
