Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
from now on my penis is your penis
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize