oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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