found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
