there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
