My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
