...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
