the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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