i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize