I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
smell my finger.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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