so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
