U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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