Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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