a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize