mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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