i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
