We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
