Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
