Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
