Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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