Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
