operation harelip BJ is a go
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
