Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
