people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
