we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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