What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize