It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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