i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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