My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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