I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
