my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
