I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sponge bath it is.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
