hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
