all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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