Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
