My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
