What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Shame is for Republicans.
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