So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
