wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
did i walk over a car last night?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
