erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
