my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
