I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
