The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize