i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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