He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
