I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
