Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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