no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize