did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
