eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
