I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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