I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
