i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
