Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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