you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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