Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Mom said you looked used
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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