Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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