We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Plan B is the new Plan A
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
