3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
