I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
