Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
