You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
