We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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