I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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